Due to some recent experiences, I decided to talk about something more personal again. I don’t know if this post will make any sense at all and I also don’t have a specific intention. But I realized that it helps me to share my thoughts and feelings, and that’s what I’m exactly going to do today.
For more than half a year now, I struggle with panic attacks. Most of the time, they come out of nowhere in completely random but normal situations – when I lay in my bed, when I cook, when I go shopping etc. My heartbeat gets faster, the breathing gets harder, I feel dizzy, I sweat etc. – the symptomes and intensity are always a bit different. Fortunately, I learned to control my panic attacks during these “normal” situations. Well, at least most of the time. I sit down, try to control my breath, drink some water and tell myself that everything will be fine. Sometimes I also try to distract myself with movies etc. and after a while everything’s fine again. But sometimes, they get a bit heavier, so it really takes a bit longer to calm down and I do feel bad for the rest of the day.
During the last few weeks I was at two different big events – a dart tournament and a club party. You should know that I never had a problem with attending such events. I usually enjoyed it and had a great time. But it was bit different this time. At both events where a lot of people, loud music, bad air, a deep bass and crazy lights – and that was too much for me! It may sound crazy if you never experienced a panik attack but I felt like I was going to die. I thought I would never come out of this building again, that I would just fall down and never stand up. I couldn’t breath, my heart was raising and my whole body was shaking – I felt like I was going completely crazy. It was a very intense situation and it was way stronger than my other attacks. Normally I’m able to manage it alone but in these situations I was really thankful I had my family and friends around me, who really helped me. Now I honestly do have a little fear to attend such events because I’m always thinking: What will happen? Will I get another panic attack? But of course that’s not the right way.
Have you ever had a panic attack? Do you have similiar experiences? And how do you control your attacks? If you want to chat and share your thoughts, feel always free to contact me on my social media! I think it’s extremely important to talk about these topics because it actually is something that a lot of people experience. More than you may think!
Your Shirinatra xx